3.5 hours later, still no idea

Inspiration: The Victorian election campaign advertisements

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Created: Fri 29 Nov 2002 22:41

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Well, it's election eve here in Victoria, and all the politicians are out there making sure that their voices are heard. They're organising for their faces to be seen on television, and for all of us voters to hear their policies - about how they're going to improve the state of the state. Or are they? No, of course they're not. All they're doing is bitching and moaning about how bad the opposition is.

I can say this with surety, because I looked into it. I watched some TV. I took notes. And I have the results here.

The advertisements

Winner so far: Labor

The soundbites

The funniest part about this? The one "positive" soundbite, where the person actually spoke about their policies was a soundbite of Maxine Fensom, an independent, whose slogan is "Buck the System". She was showcasing her rural policy, which consisted of showing a photo of herself in a bikini. That's it. Her in a bikini is her rural policy, apparently.

The most disappointing part? No soundbite from Norman F Pollack (another independent), who has been running ads in The Age newspaper, with such enticing headings as "Our trams are killing millions of people", and who always signs off with the delightful "end tyranny".

Overall winner: who can tell?

I'm pretty sure I'm just another face in the crowd who figures out who to vote for based on which party I dislike the least. And the most depressing thing is that many of the politicians seem to have decided that this theory is the best way for them to get votes: "pick me, pick me, I'm much better than that other guy, but I'm not going to tell you why".

More detailed analysis on page two, if you're interested.

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